Worth the Impending Heart Attack

So I saw this little dandy on Pinterest.  Yes I'm on Pinterest, and Twitter, and Facebook, and LinkedIn, and FourSquare, and Path, and I think Google+.  Now that I think about it I might still be on MySpace and not even know it.  I may or may not have a social networking problem, you decide.

Simple enough recipe, in fact I didn't even look at the recipe, I looked at the pictures and made it up according to my own specs.

Cheddar Stuffed Bacon Wrapped Burgers


-Ground Beef (amount depends on how many you're making)
-Bacon (make sure you have enough)
-Cheddar Cheese (I think if I did this again I might throw some Monterey Jack in there too)
-Basil
-Garlic
-Buns (unless you have a gluten allergy, in which case, that sucks a little for you, but these will still be delicious)
-Whatever accoutrement you enjoy on your burger.  I tend to be a minimalist, but a little lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, mustard, and mayo can go a long way (ok maybe not so minimalist).  I also feel like this would be really good with something like guacamole on it.  But let's not get carried away.


As always I start by getting everything ready, in this case its not really a big deal because there aren't any timing issues.  Chop some basil and garlic, the finer the better, and work it in to the ground meat.  This isn't completely necessary, but if you try it and don't like it, I can't do anything for your inability to understand amazing flavors.

Grate some cheese.  If you're like me grate some extra as you will more than likely find yourself sneaking little bites of it right up to the point where you stuff the burger.  No I don't wonder why my weight fluctuates a lot, I know and I embrace it.





Let's make burgers! The amount of ground beef you grab all depends on how big you want your burger, and how much cheese you want to stuff inside it.  So grab a chunk and work it into a patty.  You might have one of those fancy little burger-patty-maker things and thats cool.  Real cooks just use their hands and their god-given patty making talents.  Also if anyone wants to send me a gift, I'd love one of those patty-maker things, so convenient.





I'm sure the methods for burger stuffing vary but here's what I did.  Make a patty about the size of the burger you want and then create a divot/mini volcano by digging out the center.  BONEHEAD MOVE ALERT: Leave meat on the bottom, don't make an "O", idiot.


Fill that crater with cheese, glorious cheese.  Use the removed meat to cover the divot and work the burger back into a normal patty shape.  Or if you're Wendy's, a square.  I never understood square burgers, they seem unnatural.  Don't get me wrong, very delicious, I love Wendy's, and a frosty.  I need to go to the gym just for writing that.

Once you have your patties stuffed and ready its time for the part of this recipe that will have you thinking heart attack.  Wrap each patty in bacon.  I don't mean one or two strips.  I mean FULL COVERAGE.  I don't even want to see the patty anymore.

My mouth is watering just writing about it.  Also its lunch time.

The preference here would be to throw these bad boys on a grill.  Unfortunately, my condo association thought it would be a good idea to take 9 months of the year and rip the entire building apart and then put it back together.  So I don't have access to a grill for at least a few more weeks, possibly months.  This reminds me of the time they decided to resurface the area around the pool in June-July-August making the pool unusable all summer.  Seriously?

My building stinks to me.  So I was stuck inside, forced to use my favorite pan.  I thought about pulling out the grill pan, but let's be honest its not the same and all that would do is depress me further about not having a grill.

I'll be honest, the cooking did not go quite as well as I had anticipated.  I kept the heat at medium to avoid burning the outsides without cooking the burger all the way.  In hindsight, this was not the approach.  I eventually had to turn up the heat to make sure the bacon cooked all the way and the result was that my burgers were cooked a little more like medium than medium rare.  Many of you may be thinking "medium is great, sounds perfect."  First, you're wrong, medium is not OK.  Red meat was meant to be eaten while its still bleeding.  The flavor is better, the meat doesn't dry out.  I could go on about this.  If you still disagree, buy a steak and bring it over.  I'll cook it properly and change your mind.

If I don't change your mind, we're not friends anymore.

At the very end of cooking these fantastic creations, my guest had a wonderful idea - throw a slice of cheese on top, because honestly, who doesn't want more cheese.  Maybe someone who is lactose intolerant, but that sure sounds like a personal problem.  I was disappointed I hadn't thought of this myself.











It was a school night, so not much time to really get into creating a full spread, but I was able to pick up a little fruit salad and red skinned potato salad from Fresh and Easy, or as I like to call it fersheasy.

And of course, a meal is not complete without a bottle of wine.  I did not do any kind of serious pairing on this, I just opened the only bottle I had left in my house.  Which happened to be a Chardonnay from Cuvaison.












PS: I also bought these pants.  This of course has nothing to do with food, but come on, look at them, they're glorious.